Self confidence is a psychological and
emotional state which responds to the individual's need for
self-acceptance and recognition. It is one of the oldest and
most discussed concepts in psychology and is used to
describe a positive albeit realistic perception of oneself
and one’s abilities. As such, self-confident individuals
usually have a better knowledge of what they can achieve and
are more likely to succeed in what they attempt. They are
also more likely to accept and understand their mistakes.
On the contrary, a lack of confidence might
deter you from believing your actions or decisions will
eventually work out as you had planned. It can thus hinder
the development of decision-making aptitudes, planning and
management abilities all of which are essential and
sought-after skills in today’s business world. The
pre-occupation with how others will judge your work can also
cause you to become overly self-critical which can distract
you from tasks you would otherwise be perfectly capable of
Low self confidence will also affect your
social life, as people with low self confidence tend to stay
in their “comfort zone” and fear the risk of rejection.
This is called social phobia and presents a high degree of co-morbidity
with low self confidence, as well as other
psychological conditions such as depression. People with low
self confidence fear the judgment of others and will avoid
talking to new people, which can in turn lead to isolation
and even lower self confidence. Low self confidence is a
vicious circle that is hard to break.
On the other hand, because they are able to
trust their own abilities, self-confident people can do what
they feel is right and do not feel the need for the approval
of others. They also inspire confidence: your friends,
relatives, boss, employees or customers are most likely to
believe in you or in what you are saying if you appear
Several experiences can lead to low self
confidence. Recent research shows that parenting style has
an important impact on the development of a child’s self
confidence. Physical and psychological abuse in childhood
are for example the most damaging to a person’s self
confidence, as well as family conflicts or divorce.
Overprotective parents can also contribute to a child’s
social phobia and discourage the independence necessary to
build self confidence. Successes and failures, for example
at school or in one’s professional life, also play a
significant role: failing a class or losing a job are among
the numerous experiences that will negatively affect your
There are however ways to overcome such bad
experiences and build self confidence. The first step to
develop self confidence would be to learn to know yourself
and your strengths. Acknowledging the fact that you can not
be perfect and can not be good in everything you do will
help you gain self confidence. Accepting yourself as you are
is the key to building self confidence. But improving self
confidence also requires that you start taking risks and
giving yourself credit for your achievements. This is very
basic advice that will help you develop self confidence. You
might also find plenty of books that will tell you how to
gain self confidence, but not all of them are reliable.
Many people have low self confidence or are
only able to gain self confidence in one or some areas of
their lives because they constantly seek other people’s
approval and are afraid of failing. Several factors, such as
childhood traumas, can explain why people are not able to
enjoy the wholesome life of a self confident person. These
people also do not always know how to gain self confidence.
However improving self confidence can now easily and
effectively be achieved through hypnosis and NLP.
As we have seen low self confidence and
social phobia can stem from traumas or unconscious fears
which can be hard to overcome through sheer self persuasion.
Confidence hypnosis and NLP on the other hand can reach the
unconscious part of the mind and modify belief systems to
boost self confidence. They are powerful tools that will
help you address your fears and believe in yourself to
develop self confidence.
Confidence hypnosis has been used for
several decades and has shown significant results in
building self confidence. In a hypnotized state, accessing
unconscious thoughts is much easier and, through hypnotic
suggestion, you will be able to replace your negative
thoughts patterns with positive ones to boost self
© 2007 By
Alan B. Densky, CH. This
document may NOT be re-printed. All Rights Reserved.
Alan B. Densky, CH is an NGH certified
consulting hypnotist. He offers effective hypnotherapy
CD’s for self confidence and social phobias. His hypnosis
for self confidence CD’s were independently reviewed in the UK. Visit
his Neuro-VISION self
hypnosis site and enjoy free hypnosis videos.