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As an internet copywriter, I listen for words. And being a songwriter (albeit, an obscure one) myself, I appreciate what goes into the lyric writing part of it-matching words to appropriate music, trying to come up with meaning and lyrical hooks. But sometimes, writers get a case of the word dropsy's-lapses into bad grammar, lazy language or words that bewilder. Some even succumb to the most dreaded of all writer ailments- banality. Cliche ridden drivel. Please note that many of the song writer's songs spotlighted below also have written wonderful, even profound lyrics. Plus, I write, I love to write and I love words. Not these, though. Today's the Day by America Not that I'm the grammar Gestapo but the last two lines of this song by grate on my inner and outer ear. Hold me close You turn nighttime into day And you're the most Brightest star that lights my way The most brightest? What is that? It's either the most bright or the brightest. Did we miss that elementary school grammar class? ARGHHHH! I Am I Said, Crackin' Rosie and Holly Holy by Neil Diamond Here are three lines bullets by the prince lyrical bewilderment- Neil Diamond. In fact, these are so bereft of clarity, they could have defined the sixties- a hazy decade if there ever was one. I Am I Said- I am I said to no one there and no one heard at all, not even the chair Cracklin' Rosie- Cracklin' Rosie get on board- we gonna ride till there ain't no more to go Holly Holy- Holly Holy Night, dream of only me Now, I don't know much, but suspect it takes lot of nerve (or numbness) to sing these words, written in the late sixties and early seventies, in the current century. Africa by Toto Even though the meaning of the words is a mystery to me, I unfortunately really like this tune. That's what makes it so vexing. It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had No matter how much research I do, I can't make sense of this chorus. It appears that every line except the first is, well, incomprehensible. But my favorite is the last line. I have just one question about it- HOW DO YOU DO THE THINGS WE NEVER HAD??? Time of Your Life by Green Day Tattoo some memories and dead skin on trial For what it's worth, it was worth all the while Not only is the first line of this couplet unclear, it's loaded with some unpleasant images (dead skin, on trial, tattoo). So, instead of that line how about this? Breathe deep, and reflect inside a smile For what it's worth, it was worth all the while (this is a great line, I think) Macarthur Park by Richard Harris Macarthur Park is melting in the dark all the sweet green icing flowing down As if that isn't bad enough, this distressing cake metaphor goes on- Someone left the cake out in the rain And on- I don't think I can take it Cause it took so long to bake it And on- And I'll never have that recipe again OH NO! OH NO is right! Fly Songs I go into cringe mode when I hear a song with the word fly in the title. You can almost plot the rhymes the first time you hear them. Hmmm- could the next rhyme be sky- or maybe- high? Fly Away by Lenny Kravitz Fly Away I wish that I could fly Into the sky So very high Just like a dragonfly I Believe I Can Fly by R. Kelly I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sky I think about it every night and day Spread my wings and fly away I believe I can soar I see me running through that open door I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I don't know if lines get any more banal or cliched then this. However, I don't know that the word dragonfly has appeared in too many tunes. Or if in fact, they can fly high (Though, they do fly fast I discovered- buzzing along at a top speed of up to 60mph). Having My Baby by Paul Anka But from the songwriter who gave us the classic line- I ate it up and spit it out from My Way, comes lyrics that well, hit a low that few lyrics have reached. The need inside you, I see it showin' Whoa, the seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin'? Are you happy you know it? That you're Havin' my baby- Didn't have to keep it Wouldn't put ya through it You could have swept it from your life But you wouldn't do it, no, you wouldn't do it Decorum prevents me from going on. But where there's banality, majesty exists, where there's lack of comprehension, clarity rules and where there are cliches, poetry soars. Next- the Top Ten most majestic, clear and poetic pop song lyrics.
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Steve Wyrostek MBA, BA, Internet Copywriter From websites to articles to white papers- all writing includes keyword research/placement, rewrites and proofreading. Contact Steve at 847-803-6991 steve@noclichecopy.com www.noclichecopy.com
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