In the last post we discussed the difference between people who have self-confidence, and those people who don’t. We also discussed how self-confidence is initially developed. Today we will talk about certain assumptions that people make.
ASSUMPTIONS
In response to external influences, people develop assumptions; some of these are constructive and some are harmful. Several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and alternative ways of thinking are:
ASSUMPTION: I must always be successful at everything that I do. This is a totally unrealistic assumption. In real life, each person has their strengths, and their weaknesses. While it’s important to learn to do the best that one can, it’s more important to learn to accept the self as being human, and fallible. Feel good about what you are good at, and accept the fact that no one knows everything, or is an expert at everything.
ASSUMPTION: I must be perfect, and loved by everyone, and satisfy everyone. Again, this is a totally unrealistic assumption. All human beings are imperfect. It’s better to develop personal standards and values that are not completely dependent on he approval of others.
ASSUMPTION: Everything that happened to me in the past, remains in control of my feelings and behaviors in the present.
ALTERNATIVE: While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external influences during your childhood, as you grow older, you can gain awareness and perspective on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don’t have to be helpless in the face of past events.
In the next installment in this series, we will discuss powerful strategies for developing self-confidence.
In the mean time, start imagining how your life would improve if you felt confident.
With “Self-Confidence!” you will
* Feel like you are in control of your life
* Feel good about yourself
* Trust your own abilities
* Feel the courage to have new and exciting experiences
* Manifest a positive future
* Become much more popular
* Most of us find confident people more attractive
* Feel tremendous self-esteem
