As we discussed in my last post, people, who are NOT self-confident, tend to depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore the compliments that they do receive.

Conversely, when you are a self-confident person, you will be willing to risk the disapproval of others because you will trust your own abilities. You’ll be able to accept yourself; and you won’t feel like you have to conform in order to be accepted.

Just because a person feels self-confidence in one or more aspects of their life, doesn’t mean that they will feel confident in every part of their life. For example, a person might feel confident about their athletic ability, but not feel confident where members of the opposite sex are involved, such as in a dating situation, or social relationships.

HOW IS SELF-CONFIDENCE INITIALLY DEVELOPED?
Many factors affect the development of self-confidence. Parents’ attitudes are crucial to the way children feel about themselves, particularly in their early years. When parents provide acceptance, children receive a solid foundation for good feelings about themselves. If one or both parents are excessively critical or demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may come to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior.

However, if parents encourage a child’s moves toward self-reliance, and they are not overly critical when the child makes mistakes, the child will learn to accept herself, and will be on the way to developing self-confidence.

A lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to a lack of ability. A lack of self-confidence is often the result of focusing too strongly on the unrealistic expectations of others, especially parents and friends. The influence of friends can be more powerful than those of parents in shaping the feelings about one’s self.

In response to external influences, people develop assumptions; some of these are constructive and some are harmful. In my next post we will discuss the fact that there are several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and alternative ways of thinking.

In the mean time, start imagining how your life would improve if you felt confident. And you will want to take a look at my Self-Confidence hypnotherapy program.