As a paid professional speaker often people mistake me for an extrovert. They say, “You’re no introvert!” Or, “Come on you’re an extrovert for sure!”
When I ask what causes them to believe this, the answers reveal how misinformed people can be about what introvert and extrovert really means.
They often think introverts aren’t social being let alone be someone who is a public speaker.
Rather than focus on what misinformation or myths you or someone you know might be under the spell of, let me offer you some clear understanding.
3 things you need to know about introverts communications
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It’s thought that introverts are better listeners but the truth is different. There is no research to bear out this thinking.
What research does show is that introverts listen more.
Research published in a 2005 edition of The Journal of Marketing Theory and Practice found that listening and trust are perceived as closely related.
What’s powerful for an introvert is that we already know how to listen more so trust might be easier to gain for our communications.
- We can stop worrying about how we don’t like small talk.
In 2010, Psychological Science, findings from a study named, Eavesdropping on Happiness, found happier people spend less time alone and more time talking to others.
But there is an unexpected link to encourage introverts: happier people have more meaningful conversations than those having more small talk. The researchers were careful to clarify– happier people have more meaningful conversations, but deeper conversations don’t cause happiness.
Small talk isn’t satisfying to most people, yet it is a reality. We introverts have traits and characteristics we can begin to use as assets to avoid staying stuck and bored in small talk. By choosing to act on those we help ourselves and the people around us move to more enjoyable conversations.
- In working and socializing with extroverts, we want to let them be themselves and let us introverts be ourselves.
By pausing, thinking and asking a question, either they will understand, or you can explain to them, this is your nature.
We can better handle situations when someone might either unknowingly or on purpose, make an inappropriate comment about our introvertedness.
We’re normally quiet, reflective and questioning. Rather than try to be an extrovert which you cannot be anyway, be yourself.
Pause, stay calm and say, “I’m just trying to think about that.” You might find they offer clarity and you move on. Or at the very least, give yourself time to– think, and then reply, as you deem appropriate.
We can either be ourselves completely or adopt a new twist like this to a simple comfortable behavior – being quiet and questioning.
When we honor our true nature and use our strengths we create the space to improve every interaction. Add in occasionally stretching out of our comfort zone with current tools available to us to communicate more easily, we’ve got a personal solution to overcome any communication reluctance.
What comes to mind for you when reading 3 things you need to know about introverts communications?
FREE report … “Life begins where boundaries end.
21 Ways to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone.” Patricia Weber, the introvert inspirer, provides practical tools through – books, coaching, speaking and blogging for the introvert to navigate the rules at work. Want more specifics ideas about introvert strengths and how to use them? Grab the free 32-page excerpt the ebook, The Happy and Fulfilled Introvert.
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