Have you ever met someone that you were just dying to ask out? You thought this person was absolutely perfect in every way. When this person smiled at you, your heart just soared. But you were scared to death to ask him or her for a date, and so you never did. Do you still wonder at times how your life might have been different if you had only had the courage to ask?
If you’re starting to fall into a pattern of dating girls (or guys) who won’t reject you – just because they won’t reject you, and not because you like them, you’re cheating yourself and them as well. You’re kidding yourself if that person doesn’t know whether you are dating him/her because of a mutual attraction, or because you just want a date. This isn’t fair to you – or them.
Aren’t you tired of feeling that way? Wouldn’t you like to go out with someone you really like and just have a good time without being afraid of messing it up? People who are ready to improve their self-confidence levels can have this success – without spending their entire lives wishing they had asked Mr. or Miss Right for a date. They become confident, and they know that they have what it takes to succeed in the dating world. Would you like to know what it takes to succeed?
you tired of feeling that way? Wouldn’t you like to go out with someone you
really like and just have a good time without being afraid of messing it up?
People who are ready to improve their self-confidence levels can have this
success – without spending their entire lives wishing they had asked Mr. or
Miss Right for a date. They become confident, and they know that they have what
it takes to succeed in the dating world. Would you like to know what it takes to
Self-confidence is being able to believe in yourself and your individual
strengths and talents. This is part of positive self-image, and is important for
success. If you don’t understand how to gain self-confidence, you won’t be
successful in your relationships, or your life in general. This problem will
prevent you from taking control of past problems and building your future.
Self-confident people have faith in themselves and can accomplish their goals.
They focus on achievement, know how to learn from past mistakes, and can use
those mistakes to their advantage. They know that a weakness doesn’t make them
a failure. Instead, they understand how to find the cause of their problems and
avoid allowing themselves to fall into the same traps over and over.
Many things cause a lack
of self-confidence. Often, people become paralyzed by fear, hypnotizing
themselves into a pattern of failures and fear of failures that lead to a lack
of self-confidence. This hypnotic pattern may be the result of a rejection or
feared rejection in a dating relationship.
People try all kinds of methods to boost
self-confidence. They pay professional counselors huge hourly fees to sit
and tell them how to become more self-confident. Some counselors use behavioral
therapy to help people boost self-confidence. They teach their clients to boost
self-confidence by setting goals. For example, they may learn how to shake hands
firmly with another person.
Usually, a person’s success in these types of therapies is measured by the
completion of a series of tasks that start with simple ones, and then proceed to
more difficult tasks. This may help people to learn behaviors linked with
self-confidence, but does not change people’s self-concepts or help them fix
the underlying problem that caused the negative self-image.
Positive self-talk is another method
of boosting self-confidence. Psychology classes teach about self-fulfilling
prophecies. People are most likely to accomplish only what they think they can
accomplish. Therefore, if people only see themselves as failures or low
achievers, this is what they will become. However, if persons see themselves as
high achievers who can succeed, they will achieve this goal too!
Hypnosis also helps people in building
self-confidence. Through the same type of self-hypnosis with which people
learn to fail, they can learn to become successful. They learn positive words
and ideas that allow them to feel more self-confident and accept strong
behavioral suggestions. Traditional hypnotherapy (direct post-hypnotic
suggestions) is very effective - unless you are the type of person who prefers
logic or critical thinking. If you are, traditional hypnosis will likely not be
very successful for you.
Ericksonian Hypnotherapy is better suited to people with an analytical
personality. The suggestions are buried or hidden within conversation or
metaphors, so it is very difficult to throw up conscious blocks to the
A newer, alternative treatment that can be used to encourage self-confidence is
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). This original treatment can even use
thoughts that cause low self-esteem to trigger thoughts that will create
NLP can help people to relate the feelings from past memories of achievement to
the here and now. By using a method called anchoring, people can be helped to
find past memories of positive self-confidence, and anchor those moments to the
present. When that person needs a boost, he or she simply triggers that anchor
to draw upon strengths formed through past experiences to be successful in the
NLP is uniquely easy and yet powerfully effective. People don’t have to
remember the pain of past problems or schedule long counseling appointments to
regain their self-confidence. NLP alone works for almost everyone who approaches
it properly. Most clients who have tried NLP gain self-confidence very soon
after starting the treatment.
Summary: A negative self-concept can prevent people from becoming
successful and keep them from making their dreams come true. Many treatments are
available to help people improve their self-confidence. My experience indicates
that the most successful intervention is Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which
helps a person to use the same thought processes that are creating a problem, to
list of the common uses of hypnosis.
© 2009 By Alan B. Densky, CH. This
document may NOT be re-printed. All Rights Reserved.
The Author: Alan B. Densky, CH is a certified consulting hypnotist and NLP
Practitioner. His web site offers hypnosis
CDs for self-confidence. His confidence
building CDs were recently reviewed by Personal-Development info in England.
Visit him for Free hypnosis & NLP
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