Am I Too Fat To Be Loved?

Thanks to skimpy clothing styles and anorexic magazine models being touted as the way that people are supposed to look, in our culture, being overweight can be the kiss of death to singles trying to find a mate, as well as to couples who are trying to put the spark back into their love lives. Everyone is trying to diet so that they can be slim, sexy, desirable, and find love.

In their search for love, singles often post profiles on Internet dating sites. As part of their profile, they routinely post 10+ year old pictures of when they were much thinner. And it is also common for them to miss-state their weight by 30 or more pounds. But none of this is much help at convincing someone to instantly fall in love with them. That’s because when they eventually meet for dinner, a drink, or a cup of coffee, the truth is revealed.

Being on a diet is neither a pleasant nor natural way of life. Even though scientists tell us that all of the popular diets work and will make you lose weight, no one seems to be able to stick to them, for many complex psychological reasons. What many people don’t understand is that our unconscious mind compels us into behaviors that will benefit and protect us. And being overweight can be one of those behaviors. When I tell that to clients, most of them respond with a look of “you ain’t playing with a full deck, you must be crazy, not me!” on their faces. Then they try to lecture me that I must be wrong, because being overweight is not a behavior, it is just the result or outcome of overeating.

Unfortunately they are wrong. Often being overweight is the result of emotional eating. Emotional eating takes place when a person is motivated to make him or herself fat, because by being fat they will protect themselves in some way. For example, if a person got their heart broken in a relationship, their unconscious might motivate them into a behavior that would prevent them from getting their heart broken again. In this example they are motivated to get fat to keep them out of another relationship, because that will eliminate the possibility of another broken heart.

The reverse can also be true. Someone involved in an unhappy marriage might unconsciously motivate himself or herself to become fat to keep them in the marriage for the sake of the children, or because they are afraid of being alone. As a matter of fact, there are as many different possible benefits that one can obtain from being fat as there are overweight people.

There are also two other unconscious programs that cause the average person’s appetite and cravings for food and an urges to eat to get out of control:

A. When you pair eating with any other behavior, the two behaviors become associated together at the unconscious level of mind. Thereafter, other behavior will trigger cravings for food and a compulsion to eat. This is called a conditioned response. For example, if you eat when you watch TV, you will automatically feel an urge to eat each time you sit down to watch TV.

B. When you feel tense, you feel compelled to put something into your mouth for relaxation and pleasure. This is the result of programming that you received as an infant. When you got cranky, your mom put a bottle in your mouth. You got distracted, relaxed, and probably fell asleep. Now when you get cranky (anxious or tense), you feel compelled to put something into your mouth for relaxation and pleasure.

Okay, okay, some of this psychobabble sounds pretty complicated, so what can you do to fix this situation? We discussed emotional eating, which makes the person overweight. And the “behavior” of being overweight then provides some sort of emotional protection. Being a hypnotherapist and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, I use a technique called an NLP Six-Step Reframe. The reframe actually negotiates with the unconscious mind and gets it to assume the responsibility for making the client automatically substitute some other more acceptable behavior in place of being overweight. Since the new behavior will provide the same emotional protection (get the same outcome), the client loses the compulsion to eat to become overweight for emotional protection.

Hypnotherapy is a great tool for extinguishing the unconscious associations that cause the conditioned response type of cravings described in paragraph “A” above. And since the very essence of hypnosis is relaxation, hypnosis provides a powerful tool for triggering an overall feeling of peace and well-being, which eliminates the tension that causes the compulsion to put something into the mouth for relaxation and pleasure.

Self-hypnosis for weight loss can be a very effective method. I can only uncover the tip of the iceberg in this short article.

About The Author:
Alan B. Densky, CH has specialized in weight loss since 1978. His Neuro-VISION Video Weight Loss Hypnosis has been used in hundreds of professional offices. He offers a wide range of hypnotherapy CD’s for losing weight including low cost hypnosis weight loss & NLP MP3 Downloads‘s.

Self-Hypnosis Plus The Cabbage Soup Lifestyle Diet

Losing weight and keeping it off is a hard struggle; naturally, most dieters are always on the lookout for fast and easy ways to lose weight. The Cabbage Soup weight loss plan is known to many dieters as a popular “fad diet” that offers an easy way to lose weight, but does it truly work? The diet plan is examined here, along with the keys to success for taking weight off permanently.

The Cabbage Soup diet requires, as the name suggests, eating cabbage soup for seven days. During this time, dieters only consume cabbage soup and a few other specific foods for weight loss. The plan is not a life plan like many other popular diet plans, and requires no long-term lifestyle changes beyond the seven days of the diet plan.

There are several different versions of the cabbage soup recipe. Most contain seasonings, cabbage and other vegetables, such as onions, bell peppers, celery, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Some dieters enjoy adding spicy flavorings to enhance the taste of the soup. Other dieters monitoring their sodium intake try to use a reduced-sodium version of the recipe. Many popular versions of the diet include healthy sources of protein, such as protein shakes and tofu to make the eating program more satisfying.

Besides the soup, there are very specific guidelines for which additional foods are allowed on each day of the diet. As a general guideline, dieters may eat cabbage soup every day, plus fruit on the first day, vegetables on day two, fruit and vegetables on the third day, bananas and skim milk on day four, beef and tomatoes on the fifth day, beef and vegetables on the sixth day, and vegetables, brown rice, and fruit juice on the final day. Dieters then go back to their normal eating habits, hopefully now weighing a few pounds less.

Does the Cabbage Soup diet truly work? Although no official research study has studied the diet conclusively, people using the Cabbage Soup diet report mixed success. For many dieters, the diet resulted in weight loss (up to ten pounds, typically less), but only temporarily, as the weight gradually came back as the individual returned to normal meal plans. Some dieters report weakness, light-headedness, and lack of focus while on the diet. Other dieters experienced no effects whatsoever, experiencing no illness, but no weight loss either.

The Cabbage Soup diet is only one of many popular diets that dieters can try. However, because this diet may not produce results, for many dieters it just adds to the frustration of being unable to lose weight. A better method of dieting does not use fad diets or short-term diet plans. It takes dedication and long-term health commitments to maintain a healthy permanent weight. This means eating right and getting plenty of exercise.

Unfortunately, many of us fight to keep up the habits necessary for weight loss. Lots of frequent dieters struggle to lose weight because of their intense cravings, uncontrollable appetites or eating habits, or a simple lack of motivation. Hypnotism for weight loss is useful for resolving these issues and providing the motivation necessary for easy weight loss.

Among the many reasons hypnotherapy is excellent as a weight loss aid is because hypnotherapy may be used for natural appetite suppression. A great number of overweight people suffer from out-of-control appetites because have a habit of “emotional eating” which gives them an unconscious drive to eat and eat even when they aren’t really hungry. Hypnotherapy helps re-program the unconscious mind to extinguish the urge to eat too much, resulting in natural appetite control without the use of pills.

Another way hypnosis therapy can work to help you lose weight is by removing the anxious thoughts that give you the desire to overeat and sap your motivation to get physically fit. The moment you start to have negative thoughts, hypnosis taps into your unconscious to naturally think positive, which causes you to become more relaxed.

Your exercise motivation can be dramatically increased through hypnotherapy and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). First, you identify what the most important aspects of your life are. Then you use techniques in NLP to guide you into believing that the things that are most important to you will benefit when you exercise, or placed in jeopardy if you don’t. This way, it becomes easy to stay motivated to take care of yourself and stay physically fit.

Anyone can learn NLP and weight loss hypnosis techniques from an excellent quality weight loss hypnosis CD program. The techniques in hypnosis CDs utilize the power of unconscious thoughts to help dieters end their cravings. By eliminating urges and cravings, the appetite is reduced or eliminated entirely. Hypnotherapy also keep you strongly motivated to get physically active and shed pounds.

By reprogramming your unconscious mind, hypnosis makes losing weight a natural process. It is a superb tool to keep you inspired and naturally focused on healthy habits. So before taking on another fad diet, think about a healthier approach to losing weight through exercise, eating right, keeping a positive attitude, and using hypnotherapy to reach your goals.

Alan B. Densky, CH has worked for over 30 years specializing in weight loss. He offers several ways to lose weight, including dieting CDs and hypnosis for weight loss DVD. Visit his self development CDs site for Free hypnosis downloads, videos, and newsletters.

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